Marital Problems Within Our Daycare
Recently the parents of a kid from our center who have been undergoing a long and tedious divorce process finally concluded their divorce. Although they may feel like they have solved their problem in a matured way, I personally witnessed first-hand, how much their kid suffered during those many months they were going through the divorce. According to a close associate and family attorney friend of mine, who works closely with a divorce attorney at Santa Cruz Law HQ, which is a lawyer referral service, the majority of the kids whose parents are going through a divorce, suffer emotionally and usually become traumatized in one way or the other.
Kids & Trauma
If only parents would also take their children into consideration whenever they are taking such serious decisions as divorce, then we would also be seeing less cases of children suffering under the parents’ divorce. The trauma affects children in different ways depending on their age. Younger kids from toddlers to five year olds will usually display more clinginess, more temper tantrums, and sleep disturbances. The older kids will usually develop a fear of loneliness, probably becoming more introverted, and develop some sort of shame for his/her family’s troubles, and may even begin to feel different from other kids.
The only good news about the whole situation is that the majority of divorce-kids will adjust within a few years, usually within 3 years. This means that most kids will somehow come to terms with their situation and move on with life, but that is for most kids. There are a few kids, like this kid from our center, who will most probably suffer for a much longer time. This period of post traumatic issues seems to depend on how deeply the kid was emotionally devastated during the divorce period. While it is nobody’s business to tell a couple to either stick together, or to get a divorce, there are few steps that can be taken to assure that a kid caught in the middle of a divorce does not have to suffer.
Tips on Helping Kids through a Divorce
The following steps can be taken to reduce the stress of a divorce process on your kid. While they will definitely not erase the fact that the parents are divorced, they will at least reduce the emotional suffering.
– Use a good family lawyer
Using a good family attorney removes the stress from you, and helps you to focus on the things that matter in your life. It is only when you are deeply troubled that your child will also become troubled. Since really good divorce attorneys are hard to find, you will be better served using an attorney referral service like the Santa Cruz Law HQ.
– Avoid Conflicts in front of the Kids
Seeing the parents fight can be a very hurting experience for any kid, so avoid it at all costs.
– Maintain a Mature Relationship with your Ex
Your marriage may be ending, but your relationship will definitely continue. Your kids should know this, and also know that you will continue to be respectful and considerate towards each other.
A divorce can be difficult for parents, but it doesn’t also need to hurt the kids involved. By taking the right steps, a caring parent should be able to prevent his or her dear kid, or kids from emotional anguish. Apart from the steps listed above, check out http://www.santacruzlawhq.com/top-family-law-santa-cruz/ and there are surely other actions that can be taken in addition, but the most important action of all is to have a good divorce attorney. If you don’t already have one, then use a lawyer referral service like www.santacruzlawhq.com.